| Rumors, Rumors, Rumors In the vacuum of information from the County, the following rumors have been spreading, each from 'a most reliable source': A replacement outdrive has been found in a field in Oregon and is on its way. A replacement outdrive has been found in Coos Bay and is on its way. A replacement outdrive has been found in Canada and is on its way. A replacement outdrive has been found in Finland and is on its way. The Chinese will take 20 weeks to rebuilt the outdrive and the Finns could rebuild it in 8 weeks but they don't have the plans from Rolls Royce. The ferry will be taken to China for repair. The only Chinese man who can repair the outdrive moved to Norway. The Whatcom Chief (the Lummi Island ferry) is on its way since Lummi got a new ferry. The oil in the outdrive was lumpy. The ferry will be here at noon. Steve Cox can't be found because he's in the Witless Protection Program. Two state ferries are available and are on their way. It wasn't the outdrive that failed but an engine and a new engine was trucked onto the ferry and will be installed and the ferry will be running Thursday. Two lawyers are suing the County for disruptions in construction projects due to the outage. The County will pay people back for the $75 cost of transporting their cars on the Pintail. Several people canceled payment on their checks to Island Transport [for hauling them off Guemes in January], telling them to collect from the County and that's why Island Transport won't come back. Favorite spots in the betting pools have the outage lasting 3 weeks, 10 weeks, 20 weeks, and 30 weeks. Some wager 'forever' on the theory that the County will scrap the whole thing and get a bigger boat. There are no funds left in the County's fiscal quarter so the County will wait until June to repair the boat. There is a petition circulating to have the County reassess our property values which are tanking because the County can't provide stable ferry service. It is all a plot by the County to privatize the ferry. The crew is sabotaging the engine to retaliate for the change back to a three person crew. The County wants to cut Guemes Island out of the County and Canada is thinking about annexing us. A Disability Rights group is seeking an injunction against any future beach landings. A lawsuit is being filed by the elderly man who fell head first into the logs when disembarking on the beach last Saturday. The cost to settle this suit would exceed the cost of a new ferry. The County is looking for a "Homeland Security liason" for the Guemes Island ferry. The county will invest in a phone system that will call me before I drive all the way from Seattle with a truckload of stuff that can't be left overnight on the Anacortes street. The county has decided to scrap the ferry and build a bridge to Guemes but has agreed to install a gate to be locked from 6 p.m. to 7 a.m. to satisfy the oldtimers on the island. April Foolishness During the weekend of April1 - 3, the Left-wing of Guemes Island will be sawed off .. right along the N-S road. Then it will be rotated 90 degrees and towed into the Guemes channel to connect the remaining Right-wing of Guemes to the mainland. The county is going to buy the Jennings house and use it for a tourism greeting station and home for displaced Ferry Workers. Volunteer sawyers are needed .. some who can hold their breath a good long time to work on the under side. Boats to do the towing and rotating will be appreciated and adequately reimbursed by the county. A work review will be held at the Schoolyard Friday at 6:00AM, particularly to decide which side of the road to saw on. The real reason that Secret Harbor School was not allowed to move to the former grounds of Northern State Hospital in Sedro Woolley is because the County is in top secret negotiations with the State to purchase the property. The County plans to close Guemes Island (citing Homeland Security issues) and relocate all residents to the former living units at the old hospital. The former ferry crew will be in charge of opening and closing the gates between 6 PM and 7:00 AM Monday through Thursday. It is believed that Republican residents will protest this schedule and will fight to leave the grounds after 6:00 on weekdays. Democrats have endorsed the schedule and are fighting for the gates to be closed promptly at 6:00 no matter who is still in line to come home. The dining hall will be reopened and frequent user booklets may be used to purchase meals. They may not be shared or passed down the line and all tickets must be intact. Fences and gates will be installed in the bathrooms and residents will be expected to line up 3 minutes before needing to use the facilities. Those not in line three minutes before will have to wait in the holding area until everyone else is finished. Because of County cash handling procedures the four person crew will be retained to manage bathroom access but efforts will be made to accommodate gender issues. This last matter is still under negotiation with the Union and may change. The ferry will be out another six months while the metal needed to replace parts is mined in South Africa. The crew took the ferry out for sea trials last night--but someone forgot to put the plug in. The ferry is now sitting at the bottom of the channel. Heard a good one? Send us an email and we'll add it to the list. Just click on this link: Did you hear that...?
Should the County care to verify or debunk any of these rumors or provide real information, we'll let you know. |
